Each Step

What do you see when you look into the future?

The excitement can be so scary sometimes.

Wondering what’s going to happen to you.

Where you will be then, which country, what kind of abode, how you furnish it.

What job you would have, whether it’s something steady or erratic, how you’d live with it day to day, how high you’d be in the career ladder.

How much you’d earn, what you would spend on, how your lifestyle would be.

Who’ll you be with, how you’d treat them and how they’d treat you, how often you see each other, what would you do together.

Who would be the new people you meet, who you would keep as friends or colleagues or acquaintances or even rivals.

Would you wake up at 7 in the morning? Get the kids ready for school and drive to work. Meet up with a friend and have lunch together. After that, you head over to the office to see the progress. Come home for a nice, warm dinner and spend the night relaxing and laughing with the spouse while nagging at your kids to study. You tuck them in around 10 together and sneak out again for a late movie together.

Or would you sleep till the sun is high in the sky? Make yourself an early lunch of leftovers and go into your home office to start typing up documents and making phone calls. You continue this till its dinnertime. Then you order take out to eat while watching TV. Later, your friends come pick you up and you hang with them till just before dawn breaks.

Maybe you would wake up at 6 to go jogging together? You come back and snooze till 10 and wake up to a breakfast prepared for you. Get yourself ready for work and head out to the bus stop to get to work. Flirt with some co-workers and laugh with others. You head over to a restaurant after work to meet up and have dinner together. You have a couple of drinks before heading home to have a Wii marathon till 3am.

Let's say you’d have to wake up at 5 and cycle to work. It’s so meagre a pay but you have to do it anyway just to pay off the debts. You come home to an empty rental room around 7 with some fast food as supper. You can barely afford to feed yourself and pay the bills. Most of the nights, you sleep with the fan off just to save money. You’re growing a belly but you retire right after dinner anyway as work tires you out and you have to wake up at 5 the next day again.

Any of those circumstances could befall anyone. Sure it may depend on your strength, your will, your smarts or your courage. But luck definitely comes into play. I’m not sure if luck and fate even exists, if there is such a thing as one’s destiny. But there are certain unexplained forces that could be taken as coincidences or proof.

Sometimes a decision we make affects us in a huge but not so severe way. Or the small ones that might or might not change our whole lives without us even knowing it. We may welcome them depending on how adventurous we are or shun it for the safer road.

But sometimes the decision is so great that it not only affects you but others in your life as well. Sometimes you might be afraid to make that decision. It could all work out but some many arrows point towards negative. Yet that foolish tiny ray of hope says that there is a chance you could and that’s enough. You could, or you could not. Both have equal degrees of maybe’s. And you’re still scared but you have to put one foot forward soon. The path behind you is already disappearing. But which foot? Which path?

It’s very confusing and you’re probably not prepared to face it but you need to make the choice anyway because that’s part of the journey.

WELL. I don’t really know where this post was supposed to head. It was just me spewing random thoughts from my head as I read OP. Fuck, I think I’m addicted.

I need to study. And paint my nails. Night.

Some Story Of My Life

Well, see.

I got the offers, I got the passion, I (think I) got the brains.

I just don't have the funds.

I must have used up all my pitiful amount of good karma on my SPM results.

Well, that was a short rant but I've no mood and am supposed to be doing Basic Calc practise here in the E-Lab.

So. Here's what to do when you're not a Monash student but stuck on Monash grounds for one and a half hours, without a card (because they needs cards to go like EVERYWHERE and it's cool but mafan at the same time) and it's raining outside.

Abuse your poor camera for all it's worth.

FLY KITE PERSON likes to call this Edward Cullen shots.

I assume it's because it is the sky right before it rains and it has always given me a calm and serene, yet expectant feeling at the same time. The colours are beautiful and the scent of the rain is the strongest then.

The faint foreboding you get that gives you slight chills.

Only when it started raining we had to migrate to the cafeteria.

I said I'd use this as my FB picture but I like my current one so chill a bit first.

Rawr Crystal. =]

Attempt at emo but phail because we not pro camwhores.

I'm not even gonna try to justify this.

Weird lighting makes peeps look yellowish.

But if you face this way you get that awesome fang-less vampire look.

Omg, maybe those really are Edward Cullen shots. T__T

Damn fail at camwhore wan, must pretend to put hand there only while Ben actually took the shot. /hehehe

BOO-NESS. ;D

Hair shots.

Still yellowish.

I love my amethyst contacts from Sam.

But I'm back to plain now because I have a bunch of those I haven't used in ages. I feel so BORING. D:

Ben's girly eyes? :P

BLOB IS MY PENGUIN FROM MY P BUDDY. *hearts*

Yes, P does stand for penguin. DUH moment.

My cousin's ring that OMG I HAVEN'T RETURNED and doesn't fit on Ben's finger. *coughstubbycough*

More Edward Cullen shots lolol. 8D

Is actually still raining but you can't see.

Ear shots!

His ear funny right?

He didn't believe us at first but here's your proof.

Realised we has a mole at almost the same area.

More hair!

He thinks he has a bald spot. -__-

I love them! :D

I mean my shoes, not my legs of course. Not that perasan. :P

AND THEN FINALLY CRYS CAME OUT AND WE WERE HAPPI AND GOT A TOUR OF THE PLACE. :DDD

Is actually very nice, Monash. I feel so traitorous just saying that lol.

WELL. I think those was just about the VAINEST photos in the history of this blog. I think, if memory serves me.

Back to the ever random shots of my life.

Grand piano in one of the lecture theatres. I don't know why it's there and not in the Student Lounge or Auditorium or something.

Omfgtehcute Famous Amos cookies mum bought for Megan, Gwenette(sp?) and Janice.

OMG EVEN CUTER THAN COOKIES RIGHT?

OMGOMGOMGOMG~

Note: I just realised this post has a lot of CAPS. Perhaps it be because I have an 8-6 straight day with only one 45 min break for lunch and this be a lame attempt at getting hyped up.

It's kinda working? Not really.

Stoning in McD at Pyramid for I forgot why. Think we were just so entranced by his drawing.

I told you right? The thing is super hard to control and is slightly off.

BUT THEN RIGHT, just after he finished it, my bloody phone hanged and the picture wasn't saved!

Rawr at whoever called me then and made my phone hang.

This shot is the only memory we has of it. T_T

Of course, he got all artist-y and said this was nothing (I know me and Crys were O_O too) but it was still a waste!

Can you spot his name? :P

Random shot of this super adorable mouse as I was waiting at the bus stop opposite uni last week.

Cute right?! I approached it so slowly it didn't even run when I got close.

Is nice drink, says Sharifah.

AND OMG WEDGES. CHEESY WEDGES. xDDDD

Well, back to basic calc.

P.S.: I want my vet science!!

P.P.S.: Terry, get well soon! Your family worries about you even all the way from Australia. D:

My Very Own IMMD

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.

I got into University of Queensland for Vet Science! :DDDDD

May I stress again how nearly impossible it is to get in? Nearly everyone was already comforting me and telling me how hard it is before any notice even came from the universities that I almost lost hope myself.

But hah! I still got in. Wheeeeeeeeeee~!

Now, the problem with the extremely high fees... Anyone know any good scholarships open about now?

P.S.: Please don't let me get so close to my dream and then crush it unpredictably into pieces.

April Fools =P

Happy April Fools Day!

Didn’t play many pranks anyway, just a few lame ones. No mood, bleh.

To sum up my life as it is now is to quote my friend Ian: Busy busy busy


Formal wear for 2 days straight killed me. I so suck.

I had to cut nails short short, remove nail polish, tattoo and pin hair nice nice, etc.

So goody goody. =D

Remember those pretty silver shoes? I think they killed my feet. -.-

AND YUEN, YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER.

I WILL GET YOU IN A SKIRT AND MAKE YOU CAMWHORE SOME DAY.

=D

Oh and, HAPPY SEXY 17th BIRTHDAY!

Muakz! You are old now too! =P

Btw, BLUEBERRIES!

Muahahahaha…

Anyways, yesterday has JPA interview. My panel was okay, not too tension and the interviewers were nice.

Shirt says: LITTLE MISS BIRTHDAY

Cool. =D

Somehow I like this pic alot

Thanks to YY for lending me the awesome bowtie (which I used as a tie). So silky 1 leh!

But those are so not counted as photos! Cool t-shirt though. xD

After interview, went Mid Valley with dad and then came back to find I had some sort of rash.

AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE I AM ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING AND WILL NOT START NOW. SO THERE. NYAH.

Being allergic would mean I have to watch what I eat, and that I am limited. I will not be limited by allergies of all things! Rawr~!

Bio class. Sir wishes to remain anonymous mah.

Forgot scietific name of this already ^.^"

Then today had Malaysian Studies presentation. Formal again. -.-

The group before us was a bit long, but damn geng. Got my geng A-levels friend as a member. No harap la.

AND they were doing the SAME TOPIC.

*cue dramatic music*

The lecturer was like: “Ok, lets see the difference between the two groups now.”

WTF. Way to take away the comparison factor.

Overall ok la, and Sam’s ears wasn’t that red. Lol. We did Teaching of Mathematics and Science in English.

Earlier, we had a bio experiment.

AGAR CUBES HAVE NEVER BEEN SO COOL.

Originally pink because the base changes the indicator colour in the agar cubes. They were dunked into acid.

The acid neutralizes the base and turns the phenolphtalein colourless.

Slow diffusion


Sliced open. COOL RIGHT?

This is way cooler than the one we did in Form 5 with the potato and some dye (I think?). I had cool red fingertips for a few days though. XD

Egeria cells as seen through microscope after plasmolysing.

My onion cells. Never knew you could take pics through microscope!

Oh, and my bio lecturer has a blog too. *giggles*

BTW, JON. I WILL NOT FORGET THE PROMISE.

You break it, you die.

Friendship gone. Trust broken. Down the drain. Kaput. Over. (pressure you a bit xD)

јоиєяdтнаи (ѕнікє) says:
i put my balls on the line that wont happen again

јоиєяdтнаи (ѕнікє) says:
it was stupid of me that time

јоиєяdтнаи (ѕнікє) says:
like i said, half year older edi

~*JJ*~ says:
U PROMISE THAT U EAT HD WITH ME FIRST

јоиєяdтнаи (ѕнікє) says:
yealar i promise la

Haagen Daz’s Belguim Chocolate. Yum… =9

I wanted to blog about something else, but lets forget about it now.

Maybe someday. =)

Busy,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Lost all my blog links! Anyone I forgot to add again?

P.P.S.: I am going for David Archuleta's concert! Screw parental consent!

It's All About The Image

First impression counts.

Don't we all know it.

First impressions are what people perceive of you during the first meeting, the first imprint you leave on someone as they don't really know anything else about you to go on with.

Today I walked past this person (lets call them X) and I mentioned to YY that I didn't really take to her. And the thing is, I hardly know X.

She said I based alot on first impression. I thought about that and turns out, it's true to certain extent. I did judge this particular person on first impression.

X didn't leave that great an impression on me the first time we met. And heck, if even someone as sweet as Lee Wei (sweet being an assumption because for all we know, Sir could be right and she’s actually some psycho. Kidding! ) feels that X is ‘not very nice’, then there’s not much more to say.

When we look at someone for the first time, we take in their clothing, looks, posture and all that. Then they start to interact and we look at facial expressions, speech or telling gestures.

Some might say that’s giving your verdict way too fast. And again, that’s true to only a certain extent. Because there are certain people where from the first time you look at them and exchange looks, you just get this feeling of either partiality or aversion to that person.

The only fair thing would be to give them the benefit of the doubt. Not be biased or prejudiced and reserve judgment for the while.

And therein lies the importance of the second impression.

A wise friend once said (ok that line made me giggle) that first impression is extremely important but it’s the second impression that will testify your perception of the person.

The second time you come on contact with the person will either verify your perception or throw it into a 180 degrees turn.

It’s only after the first few times, when you’ve really gotten to know the person and have a good idea and who they really are, when it’s safe to let the guard down.

Even if someone make a mistake at some point, it’s usually smoothened over by others' opinion of them and dutifully justified. They would think: ‘Hey, its her. She can’t possibly have said that!’

So unless you’re a lying bitch, try to make your first impression a true one.

Oh, and I am again reminded about how much I hate people with a huge ego. Go stuff all that inflated air up your crack why don’t you?

On another note, I found out a lot more about matriculation that turns out, isn’t all that suitable for someone wanting to be a vet. Someone wanting to be a vet on a money and time budget. So there’s still some considering to do.

Smoke,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Got lotsa homework and assignments this weekend. No, Foundation Year is not as free after all, Keith. -.-

Oh joy, another essay to start on, about ISA. Yes, that would be a fun topic to write about if it were just ranting but we gotta write it all formal and hand-up-to-lecturer-able so it’s no fun anymore. It’s just another mind-blowing(-up) essay we have to write. As it the first blardy one wasn’t bad enough. Lets go pour acid on my brain again.

P.P.S. : And yeah, I realize that the postscript itself was a mini rant, but I could’ve gone on for hours and bore you all to death in front of your screen. I just don’t want to imagine the amount of drool on the keyboard is all.

P.P.P.S. : Blah...

Road Not Taken?

Two roads diverge in the yellow wood of my life.

Which do I choose?

On the one hand, if (and it's a really big IF as the entry requirement is very high) I do get the matriculation for vet science, I'll get to do what I've been wanting to do for ages.

The cons are that I'll have to up and go from KDU which I feel like I've settled in so well with my friends and teachers. I've got books, my student card and lab lockers already.

Also, I'll be studying for about 5-6 years in a local U. I would really like to try to get out of this country and live independently for a while.

And even IF I do get in, I'll have to maintain my grades. Once there are signs of deterioration, you're out. If that happened, I'd be lost and it'd be a waste of a year.

But if I don't go, then I'll be stuck doing something I'm only half-hearted in achieving. I'll be giving up this really great opportunity.

I think in the end, I know which path I will choose: to do mat in vet science.

But at the same time, I feel as if I'll be giving up something huge to me, not academic-wise but for myself.

But as Jon said, I can always settle down again.

The only way I'll turn this opportunity down is if:

- Physics and not Bio is a cumpulsory subject. I cannot cope with that subject and I'm not being self-depreciating but being realistic.

- It's in BM. My BM is horrible, I'll never be able to handle it and get the grades needed. But checked already, it's in English.

- I don't get chosen. Not much of an option, is it? -.-

I'll be upset to get chosen, because I know what I will have to do. Yet, if I'm not, I'll be far more devastated. Weighting my priorities at the moment.

I mean, see how much fun I have in Bio classes?

Mr Jefri was sick so he couldn't do an experiment with us and let us do this instead. It was still pretty fun.

The atoms and bonds become...

A pentose sugar or a frustose...

Or a galactose molecule...

Which paired with a alpha-glucose, becomes a lactose molecule

(see the green oxygen bond?)

Water molecules!

Sam's alpha-maltose and my lactose = oligosaccharide

(chunted word right?!)

Lee Wei, YY, Sam's and my molecules all become some unknown

polysaccharide! (since got 8 molecules liao)

Cellulose molecule (made up of beta-glucose)

See how much Bio rocks over Phy? Hehe... *runs*

Decision-making: not my strong point.

Pathways,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Added new pics in CNY piccies!