Near Death Experience, Freaking Out... And Some Reflections As Well

My mum could have died tonight.

Yeah, I guess that is more of my mother’s near death experience and not mine but I am still pretty disturbed. And I hope she won't get angry if she evers reads this.

Tonight, as usual, my family, aunt, cousin and her two daughters, another cousin, yet another cousin and his girlfriend got together to erm, be merry.

Just gossiping, chatting, teasing, drinking, and playing etc.

Finally, around 12.20 a.m., it was time to go home and my aunt’s family left with much whining from my elder niece, Megan. Then, my cousin C, and his girlfriend, Y got into their car and were about to drive off.

They had to do and about turn to drive out of the dead end street. My parents and I were standing outside near the pillar to wave them goodbye.

As C did so, the car didn’t stop and drove right up the curb and rammed right into the spot we, particularly my mother, had been standing in!

Thank goodness we saw it coming and quickly dodged out of the way! I’m trying but failing to avoid thinking of what might have happened if we didn’t.

In the position we were in, we could have been road kill if we hadn’t reacted fast enough.

The car was only stopped when the front rammed into the rubbish dump door that was set into the pillar. Then it backed up a little and the front plate tore out and snapped back, clattering. A head lamp fell out as well.

For a moment, I was just glad that every one was safe. And I was also taking pity on the poor barely-half-a-year-old car.

The car was literally inches from me and I quickly backed off even more. My parents did the same.

Then, it sort of hit me. The other path our lives could have taken if we were a fraction of a second too late.

At first, I thought that it was because my cousin was drunk. My mum asked my dad the same thing too. Then I remembered that my cousin is usually not one to get drunk that easily.

Still, he had been drinking slightly more than usual tonight.

I saw my dad’s face. It was scarily set. He had this firm yet still inscrutable look on his face and I was so afraid that he was gonna blow up at his nephew-in-law for nearly banging into his wife.

But C was out of the car by then and rambling about the security device that was supposed to be unlocked before the car was started or the breaks wouldn’t work.

A security device that could also endanger the life of the driver and their passenger.

IMO, that is the stupidest security device I have ever heard of.

C just kept rambling on and on. I think it was his way of freaking out too that he almost hurt his aunt, a.k.a. my mum. I was still afraid of dad and his previously mentioned temper. My mother was just telling him to calm down because no one was really hurt, she got a small cut, that’s all. I was relieved.

Then suddenly, the conversation turned and he started saying how it was his girlfriend’s idea to install the device. He went on and on about it, how the thing worked and how he didn’t wasn’t it but Y, his girlfriend did. It was after all, her car.

Now I was afraid for the two. I know I shouldn’t mention it so I won’t go into details. Their relationship has been rocky lately. More blow-ups and stuff too.

Now I was really disturbed. I was really afraid for them after getting over the shock for my mum.

My mum was trying to get them to calm down. Since Y was more demure and kindly while C had a hot temper, AND also that he was a little bit tipsy, my mum had to calm him the most. But even the usually demure Y was snapping back.

You could imagine the scene.

Throughout the whole thing, I was only mumbling. I remember saying something like agreeing with my father that thank goodness my mother got out of the way in time and mumbling to my dad about C and Y. C had gotten back into the car and after much persuasion from my mum, had now pulled over to the side.

I was with my father who was explaining to the anxious neighbours about what had happened. They had heard the crash and alarm go off and were concerned.

I didn’t want to go over to my mum and the couple as I knew she was the one they confided into about their relationship and she was the one, the only one who had the right to assure and advise them.

After a while, they drove off, though I thought it rather risky and would have preferred they stayed overnight. But once the device was off, it was safe, C said.

My mum showed us her cut, and I was glad it was all she received from this near death experience. I hugged her arm and we all went in after examining the damages left by the car on the poor rubbish dump door. It was completely dented in.

Since I was the one with first-aid knowledge, I helped her bandage it. Reminds me of the time I cut my little finger real deep and got slight anemia and the electricity was out and they were freaking out. Ok, my mum was relatively clear-headed enough to ask me what to do. Even though I was the injured one, I had to calmly tell them what to do and what to get for me. Lol.

I kept saying how lucky it was that she was out of the way in time and that my younger sister, who was asleep, didn’t have to witness it.

But she told me to stop because she said it made her think more of what could have happened. I, on the contrary had to reassure myself by saying it, so it was sort of frustrating. But hey, my mum was the one who had the biggest shock, so I shut up.

I don’t know if they are going to tell my sis. One thing’s for sure, I won’t make the first move to do so.

So anyway, my mum called them when she thought they got home and from snatches of the conversation, I could tell he hadn’t cooled down yet. I was really afraid for them because I liked Y and really wanted them to be together because they seemed really in love with each other.

After hanging up, my mum told me what was going on and it was not good. He was still berating her. After another call to Y, she told me that she seemed strained but at least she wasn’t crying.

The alcohol (not so much part in their whole relationship except to fuel his temper), job stress and recent events had taken a toll on C. I hope he will somehow understand that these things affect his love ones as well, and not only him so he’d realize that Y was going through a lot of turmoil as well and maybe take it easier.

My mother reacted on reflexes and dodged before it was too late. My cousin and his girlfriend have a choice whether to make their relationship work or not. I hope they figure it out. Before it’s too late.

And I was always wondering if there would be a day where something like this would happen, or even worse, what might have happened tonight DID happen.

I don’t have a good relationship with my mum. During the years where I take major exams, like PMR and SPM is one of the worst. I remember our heated arguments started during my UPSR year. They cool down a little during Form 1, 2 and 4 but now it’s back on.

My parents place a lot of importance on studies, in case you didn’t see the pattern. And to ensure I get great results, they have their own thinking as to how I am supposed to accomplish it. My mum especially, she tries to control my life. She never admit that she is wrong and she pours out things to my father about me and tainted my image.

She can be petty too. I once told her, after a big fight, that I still loved her but was angry at her. She said she didn’t want my love at all. It sort of hurt. I remember after that fight, I took sleeping medicine to escape it only to remember that I had tuition later. Fortunately, I managed to stay awake.

I myself admit that I am wrong. I still slack off too much for my liking and I can’t control my temper most of the time at times. I hate being ruled over and am infuriatingly stubborn.

I have also committed the greatest sin ever by tell her that I hate her. Now that I reflect upon it, I really, REALLY regret it. I do not regret telling her why I get mad but I regret losing my temper. I tried being indifferent but she doesn’t get the hint. I tried calmly explaining before but she doesn’t ever listen.

It’s like leading a horse to the water, but I can’t make her drink outta it!

But, I have also told her that though I find it hard to live by her ways and sometimes lose respect for her and get mad at her (yes, I know. I am a bad, bad child. My karma is like, negative infinity), I still love her a lot and I always will be gratified by what she has done for me.

I doubt this experience has done a lot for me. I am usually not the type to be fazed by outrageous things. Honestly, I freak out more about who’s dating who in TV dramas than finding out that my ex-schoolmate who was oh-so-pristine when I knew her isn’t a virgin.

But as this has left me rather short of breath, though not hyperventilating, I think it has made maybe not a great impact but a dent in my life. I'm still pretty wigged out now, and am hugging the doggy plushie that Ed and Jo gave me, Dog Dog.

I love plushies, they calm me. xD

The thing is, everyone has more near death experience than they think. For example, I frequently almost slipped off the stairs.

It was after a couple of times when I finally looked down at the stairs and thought, “ Hey, if I did fall, I would have probably have died.”

So maybe this does not affect me as much as it would have some people.

But I guess I just wanted the right chance and right time to say how much my mum and my dad and sis mean to me. And my aunt and cousins, nieces, other relatives. And even Y and my friends.

Even if we don’t get a long and I sometimes feel like the black sheep, in the end, it is my family I want to return to.

Thanks, mum. I love you, my perfectly imperfect family.

Love,

~*JJ*~