Feeling Down

As if family matters, studies and everything else in my life isn't bad enough, suddenly more troubles appear on the horizon and I just feel like I can't bear the weight no more.

Sibling rivalry, parents constant pressure, studies problems, no ice-cream, plus the fact that I skipped jogging for two days and now feel like a fat cow. Well, fatter.

Then, BAM! Shit happens.

And no, I don't succumb to 'my time of the month', thank you very much.

I'm just... really pissed. And really, really unsure of myelf.

It's like you were already struggling so hard, swallowing mouthfuls of water, choking and flailing while trying to stay afloat. And then suddenly, someone ties a rock to your leg and you completely plunge into the dark waters.

I don't do well with asphyxiation.

Thankfully, I'm not the type to have too much attachment to things and I think I've calmed down a teeny, tiny bit. My poor friends were forced to endure my rant. Thanks and sorry.

Argh! I hate myself for doing this to myself right now.

I just feel like crumbling down and going to sleep forever, leaving this all behind.

Worst part is, I knew what I was getting myself into which I'd already sworn myself not to in the first place, and I know I mostly brought it onto myself because of my irrational thoughts, overthinking situations and preconceptions that were probably all misconceptions.

So, in the end, I'm the one to blame.

God, I feel like crap.

Blah,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Got some piccies up for the Camp post.

Can this be considered a meme?

Uh... I know this was long overdue but I procrastinate, ok?


5 ppl that you wish to tag:

*Foo (since he just started up again)
*Shin Ying
*Shike (just to annoy him though he probably won't do it anyway)
*Jasmine
*whoever who wants to do this stupid thing


5 things around you now:

*Origami (obsessed with it lately)
*Seventeen magazine
*Some sketchings
*Water bottle
*Stack of white A4 paper


When did you 1st know no.1?:

*I dunno, primary school I guess but we didn't start talking to each other till form 2 (I think)


If you have 1 last sentence before you die, what will you say?:

*Don't know. Will inform you when I get there. xD


What's your future gonna be like?:

*Do I like some kinda cracked-up fortune teller or tarot card reader to you? Stupid questions...
*I'm guessing it ain't gonna change much, it'll be just as interesting as now but in a different way, with different problems and joys.
*Except I'll be older, richer (hopefully) and more wrinkled.


Who tagged you when you dunno what the f*** is it?:

*Jun Kang?


What are your wishes now?:

*Straight A1's duh
*Less drama around me (coz it ain't happy stuff)
*To get along with them >.<
*The rest is a secret... xP


Have you coupled before?:

*Nope.
*Can't say I'm happy or sad about it coz I'm fine now. When the right time and right guy comes... *shrugs*


Are You Happy?:

*Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
*Depends on who I'm with, what I'm doing or where I am, really. Already warned you I had moodswings.



Are you in love?:

*Moving on to the next question...


Who are you in love with?:

*Are these questions a new form of torture? -.-

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Whew, finally got that over with. Anyway, to add a few things:

- Gratz for finally starting your blog up again Foo and also gratz for you-know-what. Now lets hope it lasts this time.

- Once again, writer's block is a bitch.

- Because of my crazy friends around me being obsessed with Teardrops on My Guitar, I have also now been converted into a huge fan.

- Need Belgium Chocolate from Haagen Dazs NOW.

- Good luck to TJ, Eugene and Jon/Teng Yiao/wtv.

- I like these icons:

and many others I was too lazy to put up.

First four icons are funny. Fifth one is so sweet and so true! And the Kuzco one got me LOL-ing.

Funny, inspiring and moving icons are my fav!

- Add maths fried half my brain.

- Got a blue black on my thigh and I don't know how the heck it got there

Tagged,

~*JJ*~

Camps

Heh, I found out that facilitating camps are fun!

You get free lodgings, free food, free trips, free transport. Plus, you meet cool new people, get to lose weight and earn money! What's not to like?

Since the library camp, I've helped out with a 2 day 1 night campfire at a wawasan school and a girl scouts Dusun Eco Resort 2 day 1 night camp for Sungei Way primary school.

The wawasan school was fun and I'm still wondering whether I was really that childish when I was their age.

I came to the conclusion that I was way more mature.

I also came to the conclusion that I'm in denial.

It was more interesting in the sense that there were 200 people and there were boys. More drama, as Joanne said.

But some of them were... gross. See, the guys were made to bath outsaide while the girls used to girls and boys toilets to bath. So obviously, they didn't strip completely.

Their pants and undies got wet as they bath and one boy was nice enough to walk past where Jo and I were sitting outside the girls' toilet, swinging his WET UNDERWEAR like it was his crowning glory.

Thank goodness none of the droplets landed on us.

Overall it was fun, though they can be total monkeys (says Jo) at times and not listen to our instructions at all.

Then the Dusun Eco Resort was fun too though I broke nearly all my nails helping build the rakit. The girls were mostly sporting and way more attentive than guys.

These were the faci, minus Kai Ying who was taking the pic for us. From left to right, top to bottom: Jo, me, Lai Hwa, Hong Onn and pretty Evon.

I had problems communicating with Evon at first because she spoke Cantonese (and my cantonese is like X.X) but later I found out her english was ok too. Everyone there was so friendly!

That's the girls and teachers at the camp. Can you spot Mr. Lim, a.k.a. our boss?

They were pretty brave compared to the time I went for the same camp in form 2. They got to try more stuff like the obstacle course that we secondary school students didn't even get to try!

And I taught first-aid in Chinese! Big accomplishment for me and my cacated chinese. Jo helped me out, translating some words for me. Thanks!

My parents are anti-camp at the moment, stating that it's my SPM year and no more camps for a while. Hopefully, I'll get to attend and faci the August campfire thingy in Sungei Way though.

Doing add maths,

~*JJ*~

English Exam

AAARRGGH!!!

F F F F F!!!

*lets out breath*

Today, we got back another round of exam results. I got mostly mediocre results (as usual) and I wsa counting on my english language paper to help pull up my GPA (as usual).

But but but! Seems I didn't pass up mostly of my homework *cough teacher herself didn't mark one part and that cost me 5 marks cough* sooooo, now I'm damn pissed.

My marks were lowered from a lovely 90 (highest) to a stupid borderline 75 JUST BECAUSE OF THE EFFING HOMEWORK.

How is it reasonable to have 20 marks for h/w marks for a midterm exam?? Seafield, go die. They better not do that for trials or I'm gonna be bitching my friends' ears off.

Wanna f*cking kill something,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: I DON'T CARE; I'M ALLOWED TO CURSE WHEN I'M THIS EMO, DAMMIT!

Post Exams Are Bittersweet

So, I haven't updated in a while because I was busy tension-ing over exams.

Eh, I think I did badly, but I might just fail Sejarah. Darn it, it was so hard! I dunno about the rest of my subjects so I'm preparing myself.

See what I mean about it being bittersweet? I mean, I get two days off without my mother breathing down my neck every second and telling me to study but now I got to worry about my results!

And seeing as I ain't one of those genuises, I know I won't get the A's I want. Which is all. Which never happens.

Sigh...

After the exams, this weekend, I went to facilitate a primary school 2 days 1 night camp to earn some cash. It was pretty fun, but oh em gee! The little brats can be such monkeys, like Joaane said!

Overall, the pay was resonable and I enjoyed the experience though it had its ups and downs. Met a few new people who were all really cool and some of the kids were really nice too. They were all sporting enough which made was what made the camp fun.

The Seafield faci's didn't stay there though; we went back at night and came the next day. Can't say I regretted it after seeing the toilets, though they were better than the one's at Fraser's.

Finally had time to watch my TV series. I got the CDs on the second day of exam and my mother wouldn't let me watch till now!

And I get to catch up with my manga. Eeeeek! Itachi! Heh, I knew he was full of awesomeness but now this just doubles his already awesome awesomeness! And I think I was right when I said that this attack thing was gonna have something to do with how they became Vizards. Oh well, just speculating...

Overall, I'm enjoying while I can coz come monday, I'm so dead.

Happy Wesak Day,

~*JJ*~