Feeling Down

As if family matters, studies and everything else in my life isn't bad enough, suddenly more troubles appear on the horizon and I just feel like I can't bear the weight no more.

Sibling rivalry, parents constant pressure, studies problems, no ice-cream, plus the fact that I skipped jogging for two days and now feel like a fat cow. Well, fatter.

Then, BAM! Shit happens.

And no, I don't succumb to 'my time of the month', thank you very much.

I'm just... really pissed. And really, really unsure of myelf.

It's like you were already struggling so hard, swallowing mouthfuls of water, choking and flailing while trying to stay afloat. And then suddenly, someone ties a rock to your leg and you completely plunge into the dark waters.

I don't do well with asphyxiation.

Thankfully, I'm not the type to have too much attachment to things and I think I've calmed down a teeny, tiny bit. My poor friends were forced to endure my rant. Thanks and sorry.

Argh! I hate myself for doing this to myself right now.

I just feel like crumbling down and going to sleep forever, leaving this all behind.

Worst part is, I knew what I was getting myself into which I'd already sworn myself not to in the first place, and I know I mostly brought it onto myself because of my irrational thoughts, overthinking situations and preconceptions that were probably all misconceptions.

So, in the end, I'm the one to blame.

God, I feel like crap.

Blah,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Got some piccies up for the Camp post.