My Stand

I'm very relieved.

Finally, finally I was able to take my stand and say something, let out some of the things I've been keeping in for all this time.

And like her, you turned a deaf ear. But it's ok. I'm still glad I stood my ground and got it out. And that's what counts.

I'm sorry for being disrespectful but I'm not sorry for what I told you. I may go to hell for being so disrespectful, and to be honest, you'll never lose my love but you will never gain my respect again. But I don't take anything back.

I'm still smiling through these tears.

=)

I've always been so intimidated by you, fearing you because you're so big a presence in my life. And you still are, but now I can finally feel that I exist somewhat in that overwhelming presence of yours.

Before, I just broke down right from the start. It was all one-sided with you shouting at me and me cowering away.

Now, at least I managed to answer to you and tell you some of the things that I kept bottled up all this time.

Yes, I'm smiling. Because even though you broke me down again in the end, for the first few minutes, I felt stronger than I've ever felt before when I am with you.

So I thank whoever, whatever that gave me the strength, or rashness, to say those things. And ironically, though this is the first time I've had such a big row with you, I'm truly happy.

I will continue to work on it, so maybe one day we can get through to each other.

I won't give in just yet.

Love you,

~*JJ*~