Dear Composer

I'm tired of playing second fiddle.

If I have to again, I'd rather not play this piece at all.

Overload

This is what happens when you've had too much computer.

You drop a cookie on the floor.

Your first thought is "CTRL+Z".

FML.

Take 1

Why?

Can't the roles be switched sometimes? Can't I be the detached one and leave you the one confused?

Nothing is set in stone you know.

Blurred

My vision is getting all blurry.

Especially my right eye. And now the left eye is going the same way as well. And both sting like they're dry, even when they're closed.

I can't even read my Harry Potter with my right eye anymore!

Is this normal in conjuntivitis?

Help! I don't want to go blind!

P.S.: Mum totally guilted me into going for the trip. Rawr.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Edit:-

Apparently, blurring can happen when the conjuntivitis is acute and the cornea is infected. But my redness is reducing so much, so how does this fit in?!

Somebody tell me please!

OMG. Just found this other source:

"... But what is most important is what not to give. Steroids should never be prescribed unless the eye has recently been examined by a specialist. This is because a particular viral infection, namely herpes, may cause a dendritic ulcer of the cornea and if steroids are given as drops, this allows the herpes to proliferate and may cause a perforating ulcer resulting in complete blindness. ..."

Eep!

Alone

It's scary.

It's so scary when you cry and cry so hard and you realize you have no one you can truly turn to.

Maybe it would be different if I was a better person.

Curfew

Some people deserve to get shot.

Like seriously, shot. Dead.

Ok, fine. Not dead because I don't want anyone to really die like that. But it's all your fault you know.

You evil people are the reason why good people like me have curfews. Mine used to be like none. Then it went to 11, then 10 and now 9.30.

Want to know the cause of it?

No, not because daddy is mean and evil (though I admit overprotective).

It's because of you stupid stupid stooooopid evil, irresponsible people out there that do bad things that end up in the papers and read by daddy over his breakfast every morning.

I don't blame daddy, really. Especially when he smses back things like:

':-) ... only looking out for your safety mah.'

OMG, PAPA SO SWEET. *hearts*

Haih, why must there be bad guys in the world? So lame.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

The Guessing Game

Which is which?

I just don't know what to make of it anymore. Maybe I never did.

It's tiring sometimes but it isn't getting this anywhere. And I don't know why the tears still come.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Lots piccies to post up. Heh.

Emotional Hangover

Congratulations.

I seem to have achieved a new level of stupidity in less than one night.

Good job, Jia. I applaud.

*stones self*

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

I'm Not Emo!

I take it back.

I used to think people who felt like how Pahpahmon is feeling now were slightly ridiculous.

But if I still did, then I'd be the world biggest hypocrite. Because that's possibly how I'm feeling right now.

I don't know why it's different this time.

Maybe it's because I only had one year with them and not five or six like before.

Or maybe it's because unlike high school, after this we'll all be splitting up to faraway places. We won't even be in the same country anymore.

Then again, maybe it's because the two people closest to me are going to be the first to go off. The only relief is that they will have each other in UNSW.

You two remember the promise to take care of each other ok?

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

The Way I Am

Heong.

I've been called that repeatedly. Apparently it means reckless in Hokkien.

That I am, that I am. And I don't really care.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

Topsy Turvy

The world confuses me some days.

Can I just curl up into myself and hide away from it all?

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

Time

To live,

To learn from the past,

To live in the present,

To hope for the future.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Bubblegum is sweeter than I thought. =)

On The Balcony Ledge

She’s all wrapped up in her serenity
As she walks out into twilight
Her footsteps soft as the falling snow
Gazing as the colours turn to night

Donned in a thin white dress
She wants to be like the pristine snow
In a free fall from the eternal sky
Till they hit the ground below

A blanket of pure white
As far as she can see
No one around to hear her cry
No one to leave her be

Her hands are cold but safe
Her fingers numb but red
She places them on the balcony ledge
And thinks of all that’s been said

Biting winds swirl past her
She all but savours the feeling
Nothing calls out to her
Her blue heart is slowly racing

Her dark hair whips past her face
Her eyes shining with esprit
On a thin layer of white
Her bare feet step willingly

And there she lingers
As the last rays die away
She knows she won’t last long
But she has no more to say

On the balcony ledge
She watches for signs of life
She finds not one breath
Silence cuts like a knife

She falls against the wall
The desolation deafening her
Alone on an icy winter’s night
By herself without another

The sky has faded to inky violet
And her hands from red to blue
Still she perseveres on the ledge
She knows it’s time for her due

It was so simple really
She could now comprehend
Once and forevermore
And the pain will soon end

One by one the lights go off
The night sky oblivion black
The flakes falling quietly
But her resolution would not crack

Even as the stars stop twinkling
And the night grows colder still
She clenches into a tight ball
Her spirit had not lost its will

Then she pulls her head up
And watches with her tireless eyes
Though it’s been a sleepless night
Already it’s time for goodbyes

As the horizon seems to glow
She stands up on weak feet
A sense of bliss had overcome her
Emancipation she would meet

The fall would not save her
But the empty bottle behind her might
She knows where she belongs now
And it wasn’t in this lonely night

All by herself even now
She waves for all to see
Says goodbye to mother and father
Goodbye to friends and you and me

Blue fingers straighten out her pretty dress
Runs through her pretty hair
Wipes the tears off her pretty face
For the world to see her bare

They now grip the chilly ledge
She clambers up with certain grace
Looks down at the deep snow
She feels her heart slow to a pace

She watches the horizon in a dream
Standing tall in the vestiges of the night
Wanting and waiting and wishing
For a different kind of light

But none comes to save her
And it is almost time
Her hopes had fallen through
When she hears a distant chime

Anticipation wells up inside
The first rays of the day hit her
Tiny beacon of leftover hope
With the sun risen over

She cannot continue longing
She knows that from before
She closes her eyes from the ache
And feels warmed to the core

Then as the beam illuminations her
She opens up her eyes
If one were close enough
They could almost hear her sighs

As she takes one more final step
And her foot touches nothing
She feels a moment of weightlessness
Before she begins plunging

That moment she relishes
The moment she is free
As she falls in a white flurry
Down into a white sea

She gives herself into fancy
Maybe an angel or a snowflake
Falling so fast but it took so long
She pleads it hasten for her sake

Her eyes widen with the cold
Her misty breath hitches too
Then she was no more of this world
And her heart was no longer blue

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Am totally fascinated by otters after seeing this cuuuuuute piccy~! :D

Shades

Get them off.

Take off those damn rose-tinted glasses of yours. It's not doing anyone any good anyway.

Take them off before I rip them off your face and smash them into tiny useless fragments.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

Silken Strands

I like my hair.

It may not be even close to perfect, but it's long, black and just thick enough for me.

So why does everyone keep making a fuss about it? All that complaining about how it covers my face.

Have you ever thought that maybe that was the intention in the first place?

I find my refuge behind these straight dark tresses.

It's my little haven where I can be free. Even if it's just for one fleeting moment. :)

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

Oh

I deleted the post.

Conscience got in the way.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Sorry.

So Over

Overcritical.

Overexpectant.

Overreacting.

Over everything.

Chill la.

Lovezz,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: I haven't been a good friend. D:

P.P.S.: It's hard to understand chemistry notes at 2.30 in the morning. Even when they are highlighted so prettily. 8D

P.P.P.S.: I need more late-night owl temans.

Brain Dead

OH DEAR.

I feel like my brain has turned to mush. After just a week of holiday!

No. This. Cannot. Be. Happening. Period.

Exams are next week! I can't afford to have mushy brains!

I tried doing chemistry but my brain just went blank. Not the stupid "fly buzzing about in empty space" scenario.

The "use a stick to *prod prod prod*, brain makes useless squishy noises" one.

That damn organ JUST WON'T MOVE. GAH.

DIE LIAO. HOW NOW (brown cow? -.- Yuen, this is your fault)?!

HELP!!!!!!!11!!!!!!oneoneone!!!!!!!111!!!

*foams*

*chokes*

*spazzes*

*keels*

*rawrs*

*epilepsy-es*

*dies*

@.@,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Plus, I'm addicted to Love Games - Lady Gaga. How retarded is that? =.=

I Want To Say...

I Don't Care. Truthfully.

I want to be indifferent to you. Almost as much or maybe more than you want to be indifferent to me.

But I guess we both know why that won't happen.

Or is it? Is this scene of complete apathy a possible future?

Yet, depressing as it sounds, I can't help yearning for that slightly. It would save so much trouble now.

Saddened,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: I need a haircut. -.- Even mum says it's out of shape.

P.P.S.: Chinese tea just made me feel a tiny bit better. =)

Routinist

Liar.

Routine:
A set of customary and often mechanically performed procedures or activities

Life's become so redundant and repetitive.

Where're the thrills and spills I was promised?

Bored,

~*JJ*~

P.S.: Yes, babe. I'll get the pics up soon. Promise.