Rough Times

Things have been rough lately. Or maybe I'm just not strong enough.

Life has taken a toll on me spiritually and emotionally. Things have been happening one after another and I don’t know where to turn to for comfort.

I know I shouldn’t be complaining since there are those that are much worse of than me but like the frog in the well who only saw a circle of the great sky, these problems are really big to me as I never really tasted worse before.

Things like what happened at the camp was finally over, or so I thought. Then new problems cropped up and things got complicated again.

Afterwards, there were other things like just not clicking with a friend of mine.

Then it was over and I was fine. Almost.

Next, my dad and I had a big row. He thinks I should spend more family time and stuff. He thinks I was bathing to avoid them.

I was in a fucking towel and dripping wet when I answered the bathroom door. And he just hollers into my face:

“DO NOT USE BATHING AS AN EXCUSE TO COME DOWN LATE!!!”

And loads of other stuff. Then, mum knows that I'm deathly afraid of my dad and uses the opportunity to pick on me.

Hell, I never even asked them to wait. I already told him that I was bathing and to go ahead and eat first.

I feel like the less time I spend with my family the better but they insist that their way is right and force the family quality time on me. Not like its fun; they like to ostracize me during those times.

I think their actually purpose to get me to join them is to nitpick me.

So paradoxical.

The more they try to rein me in, the more I want to break free.

And then, there was the broken promise thing.

And now, Furry’s death.

Finally, MIDTERM EXAMS.

I can’t even go to my family for advice because I know what they will say.

“Ignore it all and just focus on your studies.”

“You don’t bother about it, it’s their problem. You should just keep studying. Your exams are this year.”

“Don’t get involved in this and just concentrate on you studies. Know your priority.”

Hey, friends, ko-ku, and my own feelings are my priorities too.

And if my problem is studies related, they say, “Study harder. You slack off too much.”

Now I don’t even try. Especially when one of the problems is them.

I want to apologize to those I might have unknowingly taken my frustration and emo-ness out on.

Thanks for putting up with a bitch friend like me.

I need to stop bitching,

~*JJ*~