I Wish

Can I fall into eternal slumber

Perpetual sleep forever and ever

Never to wake from this blessed saviour

Or at least until things get better

Echoes,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Might make it into a song, not sure yet.

Made to be Bent

More notes to self: Don't listen to music on headphones when riding a bike on the road.

Most people probably know this already and so do I, but yes, rules (even if they concern your life) are made to be bent.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your take on near-death situations, I was reminded of how moronic I was today.

This evening, I was cycling around the neighbourhood. I have no idea why guys seem to be so shocked when they found out girls cycling bicycles too.

Example:-

Jo : Maybe I'll cycle to Summit.
JJ : Huh? Isn't that kinda dangerous by yourself?
Justin : What?! You can ride a bike?

And then Jon joined in the gasping and wowing as well.

What the...

I just realized, our names all 'J'! xD

Okay, digressing.

Anywayz, cycling cycling cycling while listening to my mp4: Damaged by Danity Kane.

And well, as usual, I had it cranked up to "my goal is to be deaf by the age of 20" volume.

Saw one of the twins (Jia Le I think) but she seemed busy. Then turned down another lane.

I didn't hear the car coming my way and thank goodness I saw the shadow and turned around just in the nick of time to check.

Holy crap!

Stupid car (don't ask me to identify the car, I suck at that) didn't even slow down as I swerved to the sidewalk to avoid it and nearly lost control of the bike.

The driver was probably thinking, "Oh shit, why did I move into this neighbourhood? That dolt can't even cycle a bike properly and she looks about the age to start driving car leh! Die lah! Better start packing..."

Speaking of rules being bent (actually this was the main topic of this post but the near accident happened coincidentally), this website totally hit the nail on Malaysian drivers.

http://www.xyzasia.com/malaysian-road-rules/

Need to start studying Bio. Cya.

Makan-ing fruits,

~*JJ*~

Commit

I reeeaally need to buck up.

Trials are next week but I don't seem to be able to do anything about it.

My brain is either screaming at my body to open a book to read but it does nothing whatsoever to comply or when I finally do flip open a Bio book, the info just does not get into my brain.

It's like my brain and body are fighting each other.

That sucks.

I want to do well and my mum has told me the requirements to get into what I want but why don't I feel motivated at all?

It's the procrastinator in me, I'm sure. And I'm shameful to say, I can't fight it.

Studies are my top priority at the moment, no matter what I say about fun and Jack being the dull dude and all.

I really have to put in effort and start doing my revision or I know I'll definitely regret it come next March.

My mp4 needs to drown in a tank of whatever will make mp4's suffer the most. It just suddenly vanished off about 5o++ (that's plus plus mind you) of my songs!

So now, I'm left to download all of them again. Which I am in no mood to do so as my computer is slow as hell.

Read the short version of The Godfather. Now I want to get my hands on the long version but I tell myself to wait till after SPM. Just like I'm waiting for Fated To Love You (qiu hui!).

And also a novel Vei Lynn lent me: Midori by Moolight. Not too bad.

The story was predictable in certain aspects but not in others. And OMG, the desserts decribed in it.

I want to eat them. NOW.

See?! I'm reading a story book when I should be studying! Not to mention watching TV and surfing the net. T.T

Went jogging but didn't feel very well after the first lap. Felt like barfing. Might be the pears and durian (so fattening!) I ate right before.

Not to mention my breath still smells of durians. Need mints!

And I spent 20 lousy bucks on some obsure branded beauty product. Which didn't work! D=

Study study. Really must study.

Note to self: Self pep talks are not just cheesy, they're useless too.

Study!!!,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Some people should take a hint!

Recent Events

So, starting with Library AGM.

Very eventful. Was the emcee with Jo, haha. Had to switch the script around a few times but we pulled through. And we didn't slip up and giggle a single time like we kept doing in rehearsals.

Luv Luv Pn Tan. Promise will come back see her and the library. Other librarians come too!

I do feel somewhat lost now. No more library. Made many friends there. But very relieved in a way that I can finally get to step down and retire.

Ah, I love that word. Now I can seriously get down to studying (yeah right).

So good luck to the new board yadda yadda and all that. Thought I'd be very relaxed after the AGM but apparently not completely.

And was the Top 5 that predictable?

I feel resentful having to go for certain Saturday activities nowadays. Sigh...

Naruto is seriously getting lame. Gah, if I wasn't such a loyal fan, I'd have dumped it ages ago.

Have been sort of confused about my future ever since my teacher said something which disrupted my whole properly planned plans. But I think I've made my decision now. =D

Watched Batman today. Great movie! Batman retained his yeng-ness (though seems the other two movies sucked?). No wonder it cost a bomb.

Went with 4 botak guys and 1 not-botak guy. xD

Currently addicted to Journey to the Past, soundtrack from Disney's Anastasia.

I need to achieve my ideal weight to be in what I would consider a fit condition. But the only temptress to me, which is glorious glorious food, keeps intercepting.

Must. Control.

Refrain,

~*JJ*~

His Revenge

Okay, so he tagged me back.

And since it's the same tag, I'm not gonna do the ending part, okay? Please see the post before to see if you've been tagged, thanks.


The last person who tagged you is?
Evil Foo.

What's the relationship of you with him/her?
(his answer, same as mine) "kinda good friend and schoolmate :P"

Your 5 impression towards him/her
Smart too
Nice to hang out with
Impatient when teaching me Rubik's! Pick on me pulak!
Chuan people when down D=
Says I curse alot (I got cut down already!)

The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you
Accompany me coz it was my birthday even though I know he was dying to ronda around to his other friends. Swtz...
But Malam Amal different case! D:<

The most memorable words that he/she has say to you
"Hi" as well? Hehe... ^.^'
Okay lah, maybe "yish..." coz that's what he just said to me over msn.

If he/she becomes your lover, you will..
Imagine he's Johnny Depp

If she become's your enemy, you will...
Don't talk to him too! Hmph!

If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..
Not chuan-ing others so much when emo

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
Seriously? Same as his then. He betray me. Yup, can't stand betrayals.

The most desirable things to do for he/she is?
Still sounds wrong to me. Well, maybe prezzie too? (my answers are really unoriginal but after doing this tag once before, you gotta excuse me)

The overall impression to he/her is...
Kinda sensitive for a guy?

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Same as before

On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Same as before...

The most ideal person you want to be is?
Same as before, darn it! (FYI, 'darn' is not a curse word. And now he's got me being defensive. Great...)

For the people who cares and likes you, say something about them
Thanks. Again.

How many people you love before? (new question? lol)
*snorts* Yeah, right.


Okies, done. Hah, 3 tags in one night!

Three tags,

~*JJ*~

Couple of Days Late

Jia Ying : Shoot! I got tagged by Qiu Hui! .... Twice!
Kristin : Like you're going to do it anyway.
Jia Ying : I am, okay!
Kristin : Yeah, like one week later.
Jia Ying : ... Good point.

So, to prove that I am not as lazy as you think I am (and because I'm trying to avoid opening my sejarah book), I will do the two tags now. xD

Instructions: Remove one question from below and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions. Then tag 8 people from your list. List them out at the end of the post. Notify them that they have been tagged.

1. What's your favourite thing to do?
Depends on my mood. Generally, reading, chatting and biking or anything fun. Oh, and gossiping. *sheepish grin*

2. Do you think money can buy happiness?
In the world we live in nowadays? Sadly, yes.

3. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Heck no. Refer to last question.

4. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Anyone that's dear to me.

5. If you win $1 million, what will you do?
1/2 to Charity (this includes animal shelters), 1/4 to shopping and 1/4 to saving. May vary with time.

6. How would you describe the person you like?
Sat here thinking for a good two minutes and still can't come up with the answer. Sorry.

7. List out three good points about the person who tagged you.
She's fun, friendly and a mushroom! (Just kidding!)

8. If you only have one wish, what will you wish for?
Only one? World peace, I guess?
Honestly, no one is going to be that unselfish, sooo, for my dreams and ambitions to come true?
But world peace is still good.

9. If you could rewind time, would you?
Sorely tempted. But things happen for a reason, don't they? I guess not.

10. What's your ambition?
If I wrote it down, it'd be too long. Safe to say: a good future with a stable *coughhighcough* income. Achieve some Animal Care degree and have a fun and meaningful life. And to travel the world.
And sing soprano. =D (inspired by Shin Ying's visit)

11. What's your favourite song at the moment?
Tears in Heaven (Wei Zhi and Jun Kang lah!)

12. If you can teleport once, where would you go?
Once? Then of course can't be far or I wouldn't be able to return. Er, almost anywhere out of Malaysia?

13. What do you think is the most important in your life?
The people I care for and the way I live my life.

14. If you could undo one doing mistake in the past, what would it be?
Too many.

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
So many faults -.- Well, I suppose it would be my insecure side.

16. What music have you been listening recently?
Every type. I'm not that picky.

17. What is one thing you cannot do but you wished you could?
Be smart. Nuff said.

18. If you had the choice between freedom to voice out which might land you in hot soup or keep quiet and listen to other people's order which is safe but makes you someone who is living under someone's shadow. Which one would you choose.
Voice out but in a more diplomatic manner.

19. Whats the hardest decision you have to make now?
I'd prefer to keep it a secret, thanks.

My question 20. Are you more of a 'follow my heart' or a 'follow my head' person?
I don't know how to answer my own question. Lol.

*Tags*

~Foo (coz he seriously needs to return to blogging)
~Shike
~Jun Kang
~Kristin
~Skylar
~Wei Zhi (another one who needs to update)
~Diane
~Whoever is reading this. Haha, you're tagged!

As usual, most of those I tagged won't do it but wtv. 20 *beep*ing questions!

I think the instructions are confusing, because it's remove the first question and replace it with one of your own at the end, right?

Next Tag:

The last person who tagged you is?
Qiu Hui, duh.

What's the relationship of you with him/her?
Friends, classmates, librarian mates (wtv that is)

Your 5 impression towards him/her
Said before mah:
Fun
Friendly
Responsible
Sensible
Mushroom!

The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you
Er, camwhore with me? -.-" I'm not that shallow, just absent minded (can't think of anything else right now).

The most memorable words that he/she has say to you
Uh... uh... ^.^"
"Hi"?

If he/she becomes your lover, you will..
Luff her kao kao!

If she become's your enemy, you will...
Hate her kao kao? @.@

If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on..
Morphing into a (hot) guy. (don't question my sexuality -.-)

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
She took the last chocolate chip cookie! Rawr~!

The most desirable things to do for he/she is?
Dunno, wei. That's just wrong.

The overall impression to he/her is...
Mushroom! Haha, hung up on the mushroom gag. (yes, I am lame. Shaddap)

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Weird? Why do you think I always say "Ignore me" as they look at me one kind? Coz I've said or done something stupid/weird/random again.

The character for you for yourself is?
I think I'm confused. I'm confused of whether or not I'm confused.

On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
I repeat, my insecurities!

The most ideal person you want to be is?
No one is ideal to me. Really. Some parts of people I really admire but that's about it.

For the people who cares and likes you, say something about them
Thanks and I *heartz* you guys too~!

Ten people to tag
Same people as before:
~Foo
~Shike
~Jun Kang
~Kristin
~Skylar
~Wei Zhi
~Diane
~Simon
~Melissa
~Beh

Who is number 2 having relationship with?
(shike) No one that I know of. Oh wait, yeah. Beyonce.

Is number 3 a female or male?
(jun kang) Fem- okay lah, Male.

If number 7 and 10 be together would it be a good thing?
(diane + beh) They don't even know each other. Plus, thay're not each other's 'cup of tea'. =P

How about number 5 and 8?
(skylar + simon) Again, they don't know each other. -.- This is a stupid tag.

What is number 1 studying about?
(foo) *pokes A class people* Studying which chapters now?

When was the last time you had a chat with them?
Foo: Today through sms
Shike: Right now through msn
Jun Kang: Sometime this afternoon in school
Kristin: Afternoon through phone
Skylar: Today in school
Wei Zhi: Round 12+ when he begged me to let him off singing for Pn Tan. Like, no way! Duh.
Diane: Recess while we scarfed down the pizza.
Simon: School time
Melissa: School?
Beh: School too.

Is number 4 a single?
(kristin) I suppose so. Why, wanna date ke?

Say something about 2
(shike) Talking about stages in life at the moment. Uh, he's one of the few people I can have a good convo with. =)


Ok, done! Yay!

Being nagged to do add maths again.

And I gotsa bruise on my upper right arm that hasn't faded off yet. David hits girls! xD

I hate Malaysian services. What happened today just served to increase the disgust (ie: the ambulance)

D= ,

~*JJ*~

Weight Quote

Quote of the Week.

And get this. It's by none other than Pn Ung's husband.

The other night, I was excusing myself from eating too much (especially since Monday weighing for BMI xD), as usual. And he said:

"If everyone in the world was slim, then we'd all be fat."

Well, that just made my day. =D Ironicism appeals to me.

Failed diet,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Bet you guys are all tired of my diet obsession. Imma papaya now. =D

Skills

Some people are just too darn talented.

While those amateurs (I'm below them) are fooling around solving the Rubik's cube by just completing all faces till they were the same colour, I went for tuition today and Pok happened to have brought his cube along.

He was like fooling around with it and solving it with a helluva amazing speed.

I just sat there watched stunned. (and feeling stupid, lol)

He says his record was 38 seconds. Top that!

He also did it one-handed. And it's faster than those 'experts' I've seen lately.

No offence. Though that was my intention. xD

And what my friend told me about this form 4 guy solving the cube in 8 seconds under the table can't be true coz apparently the world record is 9.1 seconds. Blah =P

He did so many patterns in mere minutes (sometimes seconds) and my favourite was the anaconda (sp?) where the L's on each side are linked together.

Don't have the real pic so had to settle with this. You need to see the real thing to see how awesomely cool it is!

All sides different colour! xP

My phone's battery konked out on me so Pok helped take the pic since I so jakun and was totally fascinated by it.

Seriously, there are so many more talented and smart people out there, I feel pretty stupid right now. As I should.

But I'm gonna learn it! Soon.

I told Kristin I'd learn to solve the cube and I did (though I did say after SPM at first) so I AM gonna learn these patterns! I'll do it! xD Yeah!

Note to self: self pep talk = cheesy + retarded

Don't know why I can't stop singing 'Take A Bow'. Stuck in my head. Songs do that to my mind often.

Now struggling with the lousy Monash cube because I don't have my own.

Need help with Add maths. I think part of my brain imploded because of it.

Stupid,

~*JJ*~

Rubik and His Cube

Behold. The Rubik’s Cube.

And I finally solved it!

*does the in-your-face jig to those who still can’t* (even though they don’t really care)

Okay, I know lotsa people can do it too. Just let me have my moment of imaginary glory.

And yeah, it’s the new craze in the library and probably our school too.

I'd love to have these earrings! So cute!

Thanks to Beh who taught me the early steps and Foo with his ‘kind’ and ‘patient’ (*gags on the word ‘patient’*) tutelage, I finally managed to solved the damn thing and get on with my life.

@.@

Yer, why so impatient? Bully me? T.T (actually he helped a lot xD )

Anyway, if I didn’t, it’d be on my mind hiding in a little corner and poking my brain with a little stick saying, “You haven’t solved it yet~! You idiot...”.

I solved it all by myself in my mum’s car on the way home from Lit tuition when Mei Shien’s cube and I was so excited because I had been doing the last step wrong all the time and it was so frustrating so when I finally got it right, I was so gosh-darn happy.

(nice long run-on sentence xD)

But my mum didn’t care. Instead of congratulating me, or even pretending to be happy for me, she scolded me for wasting time on the stupid thing instead of studying. A trial-and-error toy, she called it.

That made me mad. I was like, “No, there are formulas and some logic to it.”

But she wouldn’t accept it and told me to put it aside to study. -.-

Funny, being a math lecturer, I thought she’d appreciate it more as those maths-y and science-y nerds (no offence since I did it too. Me is nerd =P) tend to do that.

Apparently, I thought wrong.

Oh well, I know when I’m wasting breath. My dad doesn’t appreciate it too anyway.

So, Imma gonna try it again and when I get used to it and memorize the formulas, I get to the understanding part. Yay-ness! =D

On another topic, I love my nail file.

They ain’t a girl’s best friend but they come pretty darn close.

More hand art Pei Pei drew.

looks like Wanted. xD

Giddy,

~*JJ*~

Projects

I would throttle my stupid add maths project if it had a neck.

But since it doesn't, I have to settle for just cursing at it and glaring at my teacher every chance I get.

But since projects don't have ears either and my teacher doesn't even notice, it's all moot.

Argh, stayed up nearly all night last night procrastinating. Now, I have bags under my eyes that make me look like Po from Kung Fu Panda (which I still haven't watched!) and I was sleepy the whole day today.

Tonight will be another repetition I guess, even though I've completed most of it. I'm left with analyzing my cacated graphs and the calculations.

Then some finishing touches like adding in the titles and page numbers and I'm done. Whatever.

Like David said, No idea do for what also.

It's just a stupid sijil that no one cares about.

Yeah, I get it we'll have a lot of assignments and projects and presentations we have to do in future and preparing ourselves is fine and all but why the *beep* shouldn't we be allowed to use a *beep*ing computer?

Like students will really stop copying each others' projects just because it's handwritten.

They coined it. PMS (Project Madness Syndrome) alright.

Last thing, I am really shocked. I had placed much hope in Mr Guna's recovery.

But fate is never predictable, I guess.

I will pray for them and help them if possible.

Condolences,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Still waiting for shirt... -.-

Both to Blame

Who do you think you are?

You think everything you do is right. You never accept any blame whatsoever and even if you say you do, you don't mean it. It's just to make others pity you.

You love your little game, don't you?

You just sit on your damn throne and expect everyone to follow your every dictation, attend to your every whim, using your status as a threat to lord over me.

You twist people around your little finger. You poison people's minds.

You think you are always right; you never do anything wrong. Everything you do is justified by your twisted standards. You think you're a fucking saint. A martyr.

You are just that blind.

The others. The others are always to blame. But not you, never you.

I'm the bad one, only me.

All you do is right, and you are never selfish, never controlling, never self-pitying, never untrusting, never mean, never narrow-minded, never unjust, never untruthful, never fussy, never petty.

You're just right. Always.

Well, screw it.

I accepted my faults. Why can't you?

I've tried to change. Why won't you?

What makes you so great, so wonderful that you would be exempted from all blame?

Our relationship is this tattered because of the both of us. Not just me, not just you, but both.

We both have shed tears. We both have screamed ourselves hoarse. We both have cursed each other silently. We both have done stupid things. We both have hated each other with a vehemence rivaling that of Hades' for Zeus.

But still, I love you.

Your blood flows in my veins and my heart beats to yours. You and I are in this together no matter what.

That's why I really want this to work out. I want us to go back to those times where we can laugh and play and joke. And you were my idol. So clever a math genius, so attentive a nurse, so caring a woman, so wonderful a mother.

Before things started to go bad. Really bad.

Now, my family and I have a barrier between us. But the thickest barrier would have to be with you.

Remember the year when it all started?

It was my UPSR year. Things cooled down and heated up during my PMR year. And now, this year.

Notice the pattern? Of course you do.

Education has always been top priority for you two, hasn't it? You stinging words say it all.

Never mind that I have no friends, never mind that I need to keep fit, never mind that I want to live my life, never mind that I need my freedom.

Everything boils down to my studies. My results. The pressuring, the arguments, the fighting.

And other things got pulled in too. Sibling favouritism, nitpicking, even speech. Everything.

Now it's so far gone, it's safe to say it will never go back the way it used to be.

But I still have hope. Even if it will not return to the past, I want to create a different future than what is painted before us now.

I will try to be more patient and understanding. I know you went through so much for us but you don't have to rub it in my face.

I want to improve our relationship and strengthen the bond between us again. I hope and pray that we can.

And then there will be light again.

=)

Faith,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Kristin, tell you some other time, k? And sorry I was emo-ing at you, Jon.

Two Birthdays and A Duty

Yesterday was Megan and Chuan's birthday.

They are my niece and cousin respectively.

It was a very happy night with lots of food and so many presents for Megan.

She loves ripping them open. Then she takes one look at what's inside, throws it aside to the person nearest to her and starts with another gift-wrapped box.

She got Barney bolster and pottery and bag, clothes, a Play-Doh set, a scooter, art board, food etc.

I want to be her age with such an indulging family.

Chuan will get a belated prezzie, a swiss army knife. But don't tell him (yes, I know you don't know him).

The 4th of July is also Independence Day for the USA but we don't live there so bugger it.

Jo; I knew she couldn't resist the chocolate. Haha, I was right!

Went for St John Flag Day duty today. Came back completely pooped out.

I look half dead. And stupid. No headgear. Will get a zit attack after this.

So so tired. And it didn't help that I didn't get a good night's sleep last night.

I kept waking up at random hours of the night and, being to lazy to reach out for my handphone, I kept straining my eyes to see if it was already dawn through my 99% opaque 1% translucent curtains.

Woke up around 3 times and when I woke again at 7, I couldn't go back to sleep so I picked up a magazine and flicked through it.

Got to Foo's house around 9.30 and Yih Foo (different Foo's) arrived around 10.30. Then went for a three hour duty at Taipan.

It was about an average duty's money for me but Foo got 5 ten dollar bills! KNS! I only got 3. T.T

I think we neglected Yih Foo a bit. Feel guilty now. D=

Saw some USJ 13 members who were on duty as well. Foo was suspiscious, and with a good reason. Hmm...

I realised I can't hit an animal.

I tried punishing my naughty Shaggy today by caning him but after one stroke I dropped down to hugged him and felt guilty enough to take ten of the same strokes for him.

Don't harm animals. Period.

Anyway, I have two tuitions today and I really need to get my Add Maths project done. Or start on it anyway.

I didn't know it was due on Wednesday! I thought it was Friday so I had more time to scrinch from other people!

Gah...

Better get started soon.

Feet aching,

~*JJ*~

Listless

I don't know why but I have been really listless these days.

I feel tired most of the time and am bothered by some trivial things in my life. I need to let them go, seriously. But I can't for certain things.

Example of one of the things I can't just blow off would be the looming deadline of my Add Maths project which I haven't even started yet.

And the fact that I may be bringing my Sejarah book around the house but I haven't gone past the first page.

I really need a scholarship but I just can't seem to get off my fat ass and start studying for trials. Ugh...

I need a push but the only push I get is at the last minute when I procrastinate and do some serious cramming at 4 a.m. the night before with a litre of coffee next to me.

I must get into the habit of studying consistently! I've already (kind of) mastered sleeping early. By early, I mean 12 midnight, but it's a good start and way better than before.

I knew I had to take drastic measures to my lifestyle after going to see the doctor four effing times this year.

And not to mention drinking ko teh (bitter tea) twice already. When they say bitter, it really means bitter! >.<

I hate going to the doctor's; its a waste of money. Those blood suckers! They just rob everyone of their hard earned cash with expensive consultation and overcharged medicine.

I always avoid going to the doctors of possible and four times just doesn't cut it for me. So, it's early to bed, early to rise.

God, that was cheesy.

I am and ignoramus.

Ish, that Woei Yaw! Selfish ass! Can't he just shut up?! I want my collecting tin back! T.T

One more thing. A prayer for Encik Guna who is in a coma and in critical condition at the moment. May he recover with full health.

.
.
.
.
.

Thanksies. =)

Stupid local serives.

Again, I think I forgot to add something. Will update if I remember. xD

My cousin's family is here. Got to go!

Worn out,

~*JJ*~

P.S. : Wow, Mr Swee Aun commented on the last post. Cool... Thanks. Did he google SBJA car wash or something? Lol.